The previous post is my reworking of assignment 2, which was done after consultation with my tutor Andrew Conroy and learner support. I am much happier with this reversion it is much more organised and importantly grammatically correct and typo-free.
It is the product of a great deal of further reading and a better understanding of the Harvard Referencing system. As with the previous version, I am happy with my idea, but in this version, I believe I have expressed them in a better and more expanded way. And again importantly the sources and background reading are much more clearly and correctly referenced.
Looking back over it now, I think it could do with so further tweaking as I do not believe I have integrated the paragraph on the Hayes Code particularly well with the rest of the essay.
Below is an exchange of email with my tutor following the submission of the re-work to him (although I do appricate tutors do not give formal feedback on re-works).
On 7 Dec 2016, at 9:29 PM, Andrew Conroy <andrewconroy@oca.ac.uk> wrote:
Pete,
I’ve only very quickly glanced at it, but it looks far more efficient and well organised (the content is another matter though, and I haven’t gone through it in sufficient detail to offer any sort of reasoned judgment).
Coincidentally enough, I was looking through Brian McNair’s Striptease Culture last night, and it touched on a few things that you may find useful, namely how maleness and masculinity have been represented in cinema. There’s a really interesting section that looks at the films of Michael Douglas and how they can be seen to express certain anxieties about men and maleness and male sexuality- all really interesting stuff, and a book that will also potentially be useful for helping you think about the previous section in the unit.
Best regards,
Andrew
On 7 Dec 2016, at 10:38 PM, Pete Walker <peter514508@oca.co.uk> wrote:
Andrew,
Thanks, the content may still need a bit of work but, the fact that looks better helps me sleep better.
I think onwards and upwards to a3 and I’ll drop back to revise a2 as I develop my essay skills further.
Thank you again for the support over this last couple of weeks it has been invaluable.